Hard on the Heart

I’ve had to travel outside my city to pick up a car we are buying and it’s been a roller coaster of emotions.

My husband and I went on a kind of vacation to his grandmother’s vacant house, she’d recently been placed in a home - important to note that she is doing well, the home has not had any covid cases thanks to its remote location. We are buying her old car and needed to drive out to get it so we made a weekend vacation out of it. Lots of hard emotions for my husband being in her house that he has so many memories in. He had always wanted to buy her house but unfortunately it has not been something we can afford to do. Hopefully sharing the stories with me has helped him say goodbye to the property. 

The city we were staying in for the car pick up was close enough to a friend's city that I haven’t seen in a few years (and I had some masks to bring him and his dad) so I was able to drive out there. My takeaway is…. Social distantancing is hard on the heart. 

Having to be 6 feet away from someone you care about but not being able to hug them can wear the heart down fast. I finally had the opportunity to see a great friend but I couldn’t hug him. His dad made me muffins but I couldn’t hug him either. At least I could make them smile and even laugh a few times before we had to say goodbye because there was no place comfortable enough to enjoy a longer visit due to all the benches being removed to keep people safe. 

Traveling to a different city was a bit worrying too. I wasn’t sure if there would be any washrooms open at the rest stops along the way. I was lucky enough to not need one but they did appear to have one open at the stop we did make… not sure I would have wanted to use it if I had to but I’m hoping it would have been safe.

I’m finding it strange to realize the things that still feel so wrong - like not hugging a close friend you haven’t seen in years and other things that have become second nature so quickly - like grabbing the gloves and getting the purel ready when you stop at the gas station. Planning trips around bathroom breaks and making sure you have your mask before you leave the house. 

Strange times. 

I am also finding myself looking for ways to make people's day easier. Trying to be a bit cheerier for a stranger that might be having a bad day but even that is a level harder than usual! Usually a smile and ‘hello’ or ‘have a nice day’ could make someone smile back but with a mask on….well they can’t see the smile so the hello sometimes gets lost in the transition….but at least I’m still trying to. Tempers are a little hotter in some places too. Waiting in lines is not fun and some take offence when stores make exceptions for the elderly or the disabled. I’ve seen some pretty nasty behavior out there and because of that whenever someone does something nice it damn near makes me cry and I just want to shout to everyone around “Have you seen this nice person?! They deserve all the ice cream cause they were kind when so many others have been mean!”

I guess as long as I can still find the good people then there is still a good reason to try to make someone smile at least once a day and be the good person someone else needs to see.